TikTok Spying Fears, Updated “Alphabet Song” & A Case of Auto-Brewery Syndrome | The Daily Show

TikTok Spying Fears, Updated “Alphabet Song” & A Case of Auto-Brewery Syndrome | The Daily Show


TikTok. It’s the short video app
for people who were bored
before the end of the sentence. But now, Congress is worried that although
the videos might be short, the consequences could last
for a long time. WOMAN: The app that’s taken
teenagers by storm, TikTok, now facing a storm
of a different kind– accused of posing
a possible security risk. With more than 500 million
active accounts around the world, now all eyes are
on the people behind the app. Two top senators targeting
the Chinese tech company that owns TikTok. In a letter to the director
of national intelligence, asking for an investigation
into TikTok and other
Chinese-based companies, warning they may pose
a national security risk. This is a threat
to American security. When China has data
on 110 million Americans, who knows what they do with it? That’s right.
Chuck Schumer wants to launch an investigation
into TikTok. But I feel like
he’s just doing this so he can have someone come
to Congress to explain what TikTok is. He’s like, “I tried
to subpoena my granddaughter, “but she never returns my calls. Never returns my calls.” But for real, it would…
it would be very serious if the Chinese can use TikTok
for spying, because, I mean,
with this information, China can learn of all of
America’s dance moves, you know? They’re just gonna be
figuring it all out. They’re like, “Yeah. Oh, yeah,
we figured it all out.” That’s the thing
that’s kept the U.S. ahead of China all this time. China’s there like,
“We have nuclear weapons “and 5G, but we can’t figure out
how to hit the ‘Woah.’ When do you lock?! Oh!” And keep in mind–
TikTok is, like, 90% teenagers. So I’m not worried that China is
watching me when I’m there. I’m more worried that the dude from Catch a Predator
is gonna pop up and be like, “Trevor,
what are you doing here?” “I’m just here for the memes! I’m just here
for the memes! I swear!” And can we agree
on something, people? At this point,
let’s just agree that every app is spying on us,
okay? Just work under that assumption. Facebook, Instagram, Twitter–
they’re all watching us. The only app that somehow
doesn’t know your location is Uber.
That is the only one. -(laughter)
-For some strange reason, they just can’t figure it out. (applause and cheering) All right, moving on. If you are a young child
just learning the alphabet, first of all,
please stop watching this show. Uh, seriously, I might say
(bleep) at any time. And, also, it turns out
you’ve been doing it all wrong. The new alphabet song
that’s getting mixed reviews. Yeah, you can say that. This version aims to get rid
of the infamous “L-M-N-O-P” and make it clearer for kids.
Take a listen. ♪ A, B, C, D, E, F, G ♪ ♪ H, I, J, K, L, M, N ♪ ♪ O, P, Q, R… ♪ (audience booing) (laughter) Oh… no. First of all, no. Secondly, hell, no. (laughter) And third, this new Kanye album
is a real departure. (laughter) It went real weird. Who is this for?
Who is this for? Because if my kid can’t
figure out “L-M-N-O-P,” I don’t want to make it easier
for them. I just want to know
as soon as possible so I can stop saving up
for their college. I just want to know. I don’t want to waste my money. I mean, at some point, even
as a kid, you would figure out that “L-M-N-O-P” are separate
letters in the alphabet, right? There’s no 40-year-old
who’s out there who’s just like, “Excuse me. For the Wi-Fi, “is it upper case
‘L-M-N-O-P’ or, uh…? ‘Cause it keeps saying
‘password incorrect.'” (laughter) All right, and finally,
here’s a great new excuse for drunk drivers to try. WOMAN: An Ohio man was
pulled over for drunk driving, and a blood test revealed
he had twice the legal amount of alcohol in his system,
but the driver swore to police he didn’t have anything
to drink, and turns out,
he was telling truth. Doctors say that man has
a rare medical condition that turns yeast in your gut
into alcohol. It’s called
“Auto-brewery syndrome.” (laughter, groaning) Auto-brewery syndrome. That is the coolest disease…
I’ve ever heard of. Like, essentially, when this guy
eats carbs, inside his stomach, a team of tiny hipsters
turns it into beer. That’s what’s happening,
you realize that, right? And obviously, I’m sure
there are downsides to this. Like, for one,
he could never run a marathon, ’cause it’s gonna be like,
“Oh, I got a carbo load.” And all of a sudden it’s like, “Actually,
I’m gonna skip the race, ’cause, bitch, I need to dance!” (laughter)

100 comments

  1. I never included the P as a child…for me it was H, I, J, K, Elemeno, P, Q…
    But it was a great day when I figured out that elemeno was four letters. Why would we want to deny our children that experience?

  2. It's the best chance … chance … chance. Democrats sought out a peer group to support them and they found comedians. Comedians understand Democrats because both groups are a joke …. and one good laugh deserves another.

  3. I know the alphabet up to ABCDEFGHI don't know the rest never cared never stop me from writing
    boss this is all Google writing with auto correct who cares 😂

  4. Shit tok, for retards, pedophiles, and whores like Delphine to waste their time and be all in one place
    Now where did I put away Lucille #BanTikTok
    And I say lm-NOPE to that buuuuuuuullshit
    Ah there you are Lucille you must be thirsty, let's find that retard who can say the alpha-bet right 😈🤣

  5. I THINK THAT SONG IS BETTER THAN HOW I GREW UP BECAUSE SOME KIDS ACTUALLY DO HAVE A HARD TIME HEARING THOSE LETTERS.

  6. What are ppl on about with this alphabet song? Both in german and english I was taught the slow version all along xD Must be a germany thing 😛

  7. 😂 the teacher points to the letters individually as they read them out loud everyday…no need to fix the rhythm of the song lol

  8. When China has data on 110 million Americans, that's a problem. Their data belongs with a company like Google, who'll hand it over to the government at the slightest request, and to advertisers for a small fee.

  9. Read any app agreement and you realize you sign your rights away to so many things. They have rights, given by you in the agreement, sometimes to your texts, photos, etc. Be careful what you "AGREE" to is all

  10. I can see for ESL kids how removing the lmnop part can help. But you know what also helps?

    Singing it just a bit slower and enunciating. I cracked the code, where's my 1 million subscribers?

  11. Trevooooor, Auto Brewery Syndrom is a serious illness. I mean people go to jail and their freaking lives are ruined. I want to laugh about it because finally, a man can produce something drinkable and wouldn't you know it….it is alcohol. ;). But on a serious note, it is a dangerous illness because they too can ultimately kill someone on the road, if not themselves. me voy….

  12. it blew my mind, when i heard that theres no reason why the alphabet has to be in any particular order. personally, i think it should begin with the vowels and the rest the constants. unless there is a certain reason the alphabet is in the order that its in.

  13. For me Trevor, they’re trying out a new tune for people like me, who approach the latter half of the 1st grade, not knowing which of the characters on the chart between k and p, is ‘elemena’. I started learning to read in February 1957, after Mrs. Salmonetti went on sabbatical to have her baby and Mrs. Markline “discovered” my problem.

  14. it looked like trevor was hestitant to do an over the top chuck shumer whine because he didn't want to sound antisemetic, it makes me think of when jon stewart used to do his voice lol

  15. Who's life is soooooooooo boring–that they decided to remix the ABC's??? Why not give it its own tune–instead of copying "Twinkle Twinkle little star", while you're at it??? SMH

  16. Yeah yeah… China is "the bad one". This Western diversional paranoia is getting boring. I wouldn't even care if my porn search history would be public. Harmless. Haaaaaarrrrrmlesss.

  17. Oh, God, I have been singing the wrong version of the alphabet song for 40 years. That how we were all taught in China. It makes so much more sense 😂

  18. This version of the alphabet song is not new! We used videos of this one when I started working in pre-school in 2010.
    Why the fuss now?
    But if there is a vote, I go for the original.

  19. So, about that alphabet song. I teach English in China and I can honestly say that this is the way the children learn the song. Like there are so many different videos we use and all of them use this rhythm. When I first heard it that way I legit, in my head was like "what the fuck is this shit?! Where isu lmno?! '' but now I'm used to it. It's annoying, but useful especially for people whose first language isn't english

  20. First of all, if my kid can’t decipher lmnop, I’ll immediately give up. Second of all, if anyone is actually reading this, help me! At my high school, the administration leaves both sets of front doors open in the mornings (even when its 39 degrees Fahrenheit with wind chill like this morning in my state). So I started a petition to stop this and I’m trying to get 1000 signatures. So would any of you like to take a minute to sign for me? Initials is fine 😊 https://www.ipetitions.com/petition/close-the-doors-at-woodmont 😊

  21. Totally agree. We should all assume that there is potentiality to spy via apps we use. Did they just butcher the Alphabet? It doesn't fit right with me and for certain the ending note won't match when it reaches Z unless they added more notes otherwise it don't sound right. Auto-brewery syndrome? Now that is interesting. But if it's a rare condition then normal average drunk dudes couldn't use it as an excuse because people will already know it's rare they would have to test it!

  22. When I heard that new rendition of the alphabet song, I cringed so hard.

    What's so bad about this seemingly innocent change, is that that one section is good for elocution, AND it aids the catchy rhythm of the song!

    If a kid has trouble with it, I promise it's better to help them practice it then dumbing it down. It's fine for a kid to sound out those words slowly, but it's important to work towards getting the whole song down pat to keep it in the head.

  23. Auto-brewery syndrome sounds a lot like Jesus… whenever he… touched water…
    Dear God….

    EVERYONE WITH AUTO-BREWERY SYNDROME IS A DESCENDANT OF JESUS!!!!

  24. This horrendous version of abc song (https://youtu.be/EOPCkVmNaBU?t=11 ) was apparently uploaded in 2012. It took 7 years for the Internet to discover.

  25. I don't think people realize that the ABC song is seriously an honest to god, actual composition by Mozart. We're already dropping notes out of it in simplifying it, so why not add them back to get those letters spaced out better? Hell, teach them one of the other variations instead, or the left hand. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fS7yiD6cz8A

    Better yet, let's pick a different classical song to bastardize. I mean, can you imagine how hilarious it would be to hear toddlers singing their alphabet to Beethoven's 5th Symphony? Maybe Shastakovich's The Second Waltz? Shit, really bring the house down with those letters with some Rachmaninoff – Prelude in G Minor (Op. 23 No. 5). Yeaaaaaaah. Your time is done, Mozart. Let some other composers influence the youth.  ლ(╹◡╹ლ)

  26. You don't need to drink alcohol to get drunk or high .. ethanol is as bad as alcohol just inhale fumes or drink, it same. DUI=Driving Under Influence . You can be driving under influence of love and if you drive like a retard, you go to jail!

  27. I you don't get why it is not a good idea for a regime that sends detractors to labor camps, harvest organs from people deemed "undesirables", and is perfecting an Orwellian "credit score" system to have your data, you probably deserve whatever is coming for you in the future.

  28. When "China" has data on 110 million americans it's a security risk to the US.

    What is it then to the world if fakebook has data of 2 billion people?

    Let me get this straight, when it's a company overseas, it's "China", when it's in the US it's "just a company".

  29. Ok this is a true story:
    English is not my first language and "stopping on n" is the only version i learned in school, I only knew about "lmnop" from youtube and then I thought this is really much better song

  30. Jealous much??? Your president admires a rival of the country and that is not a threat to your national security? He even wants to be friends or best pals!!!!

  31. Yo cuz , China already had data on us and can get into our computers anytime they want. it's called a tiny rice sized chip in all micro chips sold to the USA. So why doesnt the government do something about that? o thats because security is an absolute joke in this country. Not our military i mean the fat old retards who are in charge of things.

Add a Comment

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *